i haven’t talked to anyone all day so i feel a bit :\\ but i brought home cake from work + gotta work on my weird trumpet piece now
some things before i go back to studying:
also a lot of my friends overlook the fact that I experienced an actual diasporic remove which makes my life experiences distinct from theirs… this is so overlooked also I think it’s even worse due to my family situation I think some people don’t realise how lucky they are and think that we are similar but??
it’s heck late I don’t even think my brain is coherent so I can say this now, haha. recently (not that recently…. also always) getting really fed up with some of my friends’ behaviors and ideals… coming out at the worst opportunities. i feel so disgusted. I got someone telling me “it’s unnecessary to be a missionary for diversity” I know multiple people still fetishising gay couples, people still love to invalidate arguments with the classic “but ALL ______ experience this same problem too!”, useless fuckass boys not respecting my contributions and position etc. maybe I’ll think of more. Ok it sucks that these are people I know goodnight zzzzz
just slept for 11 hrs…………
boo hoo hoo i’m such a hater
lmao ok so basically i have a big problem w like…. ok so basically 2 things i really love & am passionate about are music & film and i’m actually REALLY proud of this about myself and am v confident abt my knowledge wrt these areas and nah i won’t chill cos i feel like this is like one of the only good qualities about me nd my self-esteem that i can feel this way about these things hAHAHHA. ok so first of all i’m a lil angry @ myself for this but i’m a tiiiny bit of a hater @ other/most other musicians + film fans i meet in everyday life just because of the rampant pretentiousness but MORE ANNOYINGLY the terrible elitism and competitiveness… which leads me to my next complaint. OK So like unless we’re friends beforehand or met through mutual interests i hate HATE how people don’t respect me…. they’re cocky and one-upping and need me to ~prove my knowledge~ or whatever i’m so sick of it i’m so sick of not receiving respect and like WHAT we should be nice to each other and friends since we all like the same thing! this is….. mostly boys lmao maybe i don’t seem or look like the type to know a shitload about film but??? whatever hahah boo hoo me i feel so ostracised bc i don’t like wes anderson or richard linklater….. (sorry i had to get this confession out somewhere sorry friends for disappointing you….)
whatever my point still stands i’m annoyed bc i’m honestly great at these things…. and i’m wary of other people ~in my area~ which is one of the worst feelings cos i want people to look out 4 me and i want to look out 4 people… not to be slept on hahahah…… >.>
but yeah i’m sooooo wary of people irl like sometimes i’ll meet someone and get a bad impression and i’ll feel like i’d have a tough time getting along with them just bc i’d be sick of their elitism bs but… all of u on here are good tho i love u all <3
I can’t ever come into our uni library ever again there are just too many DVDs and books I want to borrow and I know that when I get home the feeling will be gone and I won’t watch or read until like 2 weeks later. Also they have nymphomaniac vol II but not I that is SO CRUEL.
FUCK i almost forgot to mention i was at work this couple came in with the strongest matching #fuckboy #aesthetic it was sooo admirable i was about to bow down. they were wearing like matching adidas (?? i don’t even fucking know) satin sweats or w/e with the tacky gaudy colourful historical print u kno what i mean plus matching bling snapbacks. the girl had such beaut hair and lennon sunglasses and the dude had this faux-expensive huge furry leopard coat then they threw me a hundred for like less than $20 worth of food literally those 2 people were all my goals combined.
i was planning to save all my cinema blog posts from my subject blog and cross-post them to my other blog to encourage myself to write etc. but i feel like most of them are quite typical & boring and i haven’t gotten around to it yet haha. i’m going to miss subject blogging i love that as an assessment woo. speaking of i just got war flashbacks to when we watched a chad future mv in one of our tutorials……..
honestly i spent so much $$$$ and stomach space/metabolism on GOOD FOOD i can’t afford to eat for another week??
WHEN YOU COME BACK FROM TRAVELLING AND TAKE THE BEST DEEP CLEANSE SHOWER EVER and then kiss your laptop
the biggest betrayal of this trip is tied with
a) the hostel wi fi not stretching to our room so gotta camp out in the lounge. Ultimatum between internet or charging phone.
b) being too full to eat all the food I want???? I haven’t fulfilled my cake dreams yet
THIS TOP BUNK HAS NO RAILING ON THE SIDE IM SO SCARED OF FALLING OFF